I lay on my bed, legs propped up against the wall, desperately wishing my mother would call. But I remembered the last time I'd seen her, right before the train for Providence pulled out of the station, "You know how expensive it is to call," she said, then squeezed me tight and said good- bye.

我躺在床上，双腿靠在墙上，拼命希望妈妈会打电话来。但我想起了我上一次见她时——就在开往普罗维登斯的火车即将驶出车站时——她对我说：“你知道打电话有多贵。”然后紧紧地抱了抱我就道别离开了。

This was my first birthday away from home. I missed my mom, missed my sister, and most certainly missed the special pound cake my mother always made for my birthday. Since getting to college that year, I would watch jealously as the other freshmen received care packages from their parents on their birthdays -and even on ordinary days. Big boxes containing summer slacks and blouses, packages of M&M's and Snickers , things they needed and things they didn't. Instead of feeling thrilled about my upcoming eighteenth birthday, I felt empty. I wished my mom would send me something, too, but I knew that she couldn't afford presents or the postage. She had done her best with my sister and me -raising us by herself. The simple truth was there just was never enough money.

这是我离开家过的第一个生日，我想念妈妈，想念妹妹，当然，我最想念的还是我过生日时，妈妈总会为我做的那个特别的重糖重油蛋糕。自从那年上大学后，我总会妒忌地注视着其他新生在过生日的时候，甚至是平常的日子里，收到他们的父母寄来的爱心包裹。一大盒一大盒的夏季长裤和休闲衫，一包包的M&M's巧克力豆和士力架——他们需要的和不需要的东西。对于即将到来的18岁生日，我不但没有感到兴奋，反而觉得空虚。我希望妈妈也会寄些东西给我，但我知道她买不起礼物，也付不起邮资。她独自抚养我和妹妹已经尽了全力了。事实很简单：我们的钱永远不够花。

But that didn't stop her from filling us with dreams. "You can be anything you want to be," she would tell us. "Politicians, dancers, writers - you just have to work for it; you have to get an education."

但那并没有阻止她给我们灌输梦想。“你们想成为什么样的人就能成为什么样的人，”她会这样告诉我们，“政治家、舞蹈家、作家——你们只需要为之努力奋斗，你们必须受教育。”

For a long time, because of my mother's resourcefulness , I didn't realize that we were poor. She did so much with so little. She owned and took care of our house. She clothed and fed us. She found ways to get us scholarships so that we could take violin, piano and viola lessons from some of the best teachers in Philadelphia. She never missed an opportunity to have a tête-à-tête with our schoolteachers, and she attended all our plays and musical performances. My mother had high hopes for my sister and me. She saw the way out of poverty for us was education. We didn't play with the other children on the street, didn't jump double-dutch or stay out late on the porch laughing and talking with our neighbors. We were inside doing our homework and reading books. She sat with us while we did our work and taught us how to learn what she didn't know by plowing through the World Book Encyclopedia or visiting the library.

很长一段时间，因为母亲的足智多谋，我并没有意识到我们的贫穷。她用那么少的钱却做了那么多的事。她买下并打理着我们的房子。她让我们有衣穿，有饭吃。她想办法让我们拿到奖学金，好让我们去上费城一些最好的老师教授的小提琴、钢琴和中提琴课。她从来不会错过和我们的老师私下交流的机会。她观看我们所有的比赛和音乐演奏会。妈妈对我和妹妹寄予了厚望。她明白只有教育才能让我们摆脱贫穷。我们不和其他孩子一起在街上玩耍，不跳交叉绳，也不在屋外的门廊上和邻居们说笑到很晚。我们都待在家里做作业、看书。我们做作业的时候，妈妈就坐在一旁，教我们如何通过查阅《世界百科全书》或者去图书馆学习她不懂的内容。

She did it all on 800 dollars a month and what a struggle it was for her.

她每个月只用800美元就做成了所有这些事。对她来说，这多么不容易啊！

Please, Mom, can we go to the movies? We'd beg.

“求你了，妈妈，我们可以去看电影吗？”我们会这样恳求。

No, we can watch a movie at home, she'd say, turning to the movie channel.

“不行。我们可以在家看电影。”她会这样回答，同时把电视调到电影频道。

Can't we get nicer pants than these ugly green things? We'd say as we went through the black plastic bag filled with hand-me-downs from our cousins.

我们翻着黑塑料袋里亲戚们穿过的那些旧衣服时，会说：“这些绿裤子太难看了，难道我们就不能穿比这好看一点的裤子吗？”

These will do you fine for now, Mom would say.

“这些衣服你们现在穿正合适。”妈妈会这样说。

Why can't I have money to buy French fries after school? I would plead, my nostrils full with the remembered smell of sizzling grease and freshly salted potatoes.

“为什么不能给我点儿钱，让我放学后买薯条吃呢？”我会这么恳求，鼻子里满是记忆中咝咝作响的热油和新炸出来的加盐薯条的香味。

No, you don't need that mess. Besides, I've made pea soup with carrots and potatoes.

“不，你不需要吃那些乱七八糟的东西。而且，我已经做了加胡萝卜和土豆的豌豆汤给你喝。”

She never bought anything that she could make herself.

凡是她能自己动手做的东西，她从来不会花钱去买。

I felt our lack most deeply after Christmas, when the other kids talked about the new games and expensive outfits they had found tucked under their live Christmas trees. I didn't mention our silver tree that we unpacked and repacked every year, or that there were only a couple of items for me under the tree: some books, socks, maybe a pair of shoes that I needed. And because my dad wasn't around, Mom pressed me into service -I would wrap my younger sister's gifts so that she could wake up excitedly, believing that Santa had left gifts for her under the tree.

最让我深切地感到我们物质匮乏是在圣诞节之后，那个时候别的孩子都在大谈特谈他们在真正的圣诞树下找到的那些新玩具和昂贵的套装。我从不跟别人提及我们那棵每年过圣诞节时拆开包装、过了圣诞节再包起来的银色圣诞树，也不提圣诞树下为我准备的只有几个零星小物件：几本书、袜子，也许还有我需要的一双鞋。因为爸爸不在身边，所以妈妈就硬让我帮着干活——给妹妹包装礼物，好让她在第二天早上兴奋地醒来，相信圣诞老人在圣诞树下给她留了礼物。

Thanks to my mom's sacrifices and big dreams, I'd made it to the Ivy League: Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Yet I was afraid that I wouldn't measure up to the other students. They seemed to exude confidence and the smell of money. I felt so lost, so far away, as if my mom had said, "Well, if you're old enough to go six hours away, you're old enough to take care of yourself."

感谢妈妈的牺牲和她的那些大梦想，我考上了常春藤盟校：位于罗得岛州普罗维登斯的布朗大学。但我担心我不能和其他学生相比。他们似乎全身上下洋溢着自信和钱的味道。我感到那么迷惘、那么远离人群，就好像妈妈曾说过：“唔，如果你已经长大了，能到六小时路程以外的地方去，那你也就到了能照顾好自己的年纪了。”

As I was recalling these things, my roommate joined me on the bed. "Hey. After we study, let's buy ice cream and cake." I nodded, closed my eyes, and imagined the cake Mom would have made. She would take out her mixer and the chrome bowl, then add the butter that she'd let sit out until it was soft. She would pour in the sugar grains in a narrow stream. Mmm. I could see the golden yellow of each of the twelve eggs, swallowed under the rapid blur of the spinning beaters, and I could almost smell the vanilla and nutmeg filling the house while the cake baked.

在我回想这些的时候，我的室友坐到了我床上。“嗨，自习后，我们去买冰淇淋和蛋糕吃吧!”我点了点头，闭上眼睛，想象着妈妈会做的那种蛋糕。她会取出她的搅拌器和那只铬碗，然后把她早已放在一边变得松软的黄油加入其中。然后，她会将细砂糖如小溪流般倒进去。嗯。我仿佛看见那12个鸡蛋的每一个金黄色的蛋黄在那高速旋转的搅拌器的搅拌下被吞没。我几乎能够闻到正在烘焙的蛋糕发出的香草和肉豆蔻的香味，充满了整个屋子。

As I daydreamed, there was a knock on the door. My roommate opened it to find a deliveryman asking for me. He handed her a large box, which she carefully placed on the desk near my bed. "Open it." I did, and inside was a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. In icing were the words: "Happy Birthday, Sande! Love, Mom." My skin tingled with excitement, as if Mom were right there hugging me close. How had she managed to afford it? I felt as if I were back at home with her, safe and secure while she sang and told me how much she loved having me in her life. I ran out to the hall and knocked on my dormmates' doors. "Birthday cake," I called. As I cut cake for the students gathered in my room, then watched their faces as they ate, I didn't need to eat to feel both full and rich inside.

正当我做着白日梦的时候，传来了一阵敲门声。我的室友打开门，看到一个邮递员，是找我的。他递给我的室友一个大大的盒子，她小心翼翼地将它放在我床边的桌上。“打开它。”我打开盒子，里面是一个撒着巧克力糖霜的香草味蛋糕。蛋糕的糖衣上写着：“生日快乐，桑德！爱你的妈妈。”我的皮肤因兴奋而感到一阵阵发麻，好像妈妈就站在这儿紧紧地抱着我一样。她是怎么设法付的钱呢？我感到自己好像又回到了家，和妈妈在一起，妈妈为我唱着生日歌，并且告诉我她多么高兴这辈子有我这个女儿，我感到平安无忧。我跑到大厅里，敲开舍友们的门。“生日蛋糕！”我喊道。当我为聚集在我宿舍里的同学们切好蛋糕，然后看着她们吃的时候，我不需要吃蛋糕就觉得肚子饱饱的，心里满满的。

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